Twelve Memorial Stones–Remembering God’s Goodness in the Journey

#1-Mourning into Joy

August 2nd, 2024

One of the saddest parts of this illness for Eric is watching the mission teams he thought he would be leading this summer, leave to go serve overseas without him. I took this pic of Eric the day the Romania team left after Eric still felt well enough to go pray them off to the airport. Today the second leg of the Tanzania trip is starting. I know it has been heavy on his heart. It has been a rough past week physically and Eric isn’t saying much to conserve his energy…well, except when he’s sleeping! Last night and this morning he was just chatting away in his dreams apparently leading the team in all the things as if he was actually there on the mission. God can turn sadness into sweet dreams. Thank you for praying and sitting with us both in the sad and sweet parts!

I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13

#2-Pray

August 5th, 2024

We are currently at Seton Hospital ER in Austin. Eric’s oxygen level dropped to 70, respirations were 60 per minute and his heart rate was 104. He did not feel he had the strength to be transported and did not want to go to the ER but family insisted. He is being admitted and lots of tests and scans in progress but we do not yet have a definitive plan. Trusting God’s plan and goodness in it all and whatever may come. Your prayers are abundantly heard and felt!

On the way to the Emergency Room, with our friend Page driving. Eric was having many episodes that I needed to clean and his blood oxygen was only 50% by the time we arrived at the hospital. I was told it was unlikely he would make it through that night.

Psalm 23:6 – Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Eric with a prayed over prayer quilt recently gifted to him. This picture was taken shortly before we left for the hospital. I took it  because I knew how sick Eric was and didn’t know if we would make it home again. And yet, he still managed to smile.

#3-Held

August 6th, 2024

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” -Isaiah 41:13

Eric was admitted to the ICU at Seton Main Austin last night. He is fighting an infection that has gone into his lungs. He is severely immune compromised from the chemo and is currently on full support to try and fight this infection. Eric is a very feisty patient and is giving it his all to fight this. We are praising God for the wonderful team of doctors and nurses at this hospital who are also doing their best to give Eric the best chance possible. We need everyone to know that Eric’s chances of coming out of this have been deemed very low. We know that the battle is the Lord’s and Eric is His. Eric is peaceful and not in pain. If you would like to come see him and pray over Eric the next few days, please text Elisabeth to arrange a time. Thank you for holding hands with us in this and trusting our help comes from the Lord’s sovereign hand.

Heading from the ER to the ICU critical care unit. We were later told people don’t typically make it off of the wing where they took Eric. Many times throughout each day we heard TAPS playing to honor the fallen on this wing where we lived for three weeks. There were abundant opportunities to talk about our Hope in life and death–Christ alone. Eric believed this is why he was there.

Above was written by Elisabeth – she sends me updates and I’m just managing this page. But, I just wanted to add a few things I had on my heart to share….

I’ve had the privilege to see and hear glimpses of their deep love and faith during the hardest of seasons. Having Eric ask me how he can pray for me on the same day he found out his cancer had returned, and seeing Elisabeth love her husband so incredibly well, and most of all witnessing their faith in the midst of the hardest of hard and in the scary unknown…. It’s true beauty in the middle of adversity-

I’m humbled and encouraged and just so thankful to count them as my dear friends.

And last, I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone supporting them so well – praying, caring, and giving so generously – I am overwhelmed to see the love and support and notes of prayer and encouragement that are pouring in for Eric and his family, and I know they feel the same. So beautiful to see their friends from so many areas of their lives all pulling together to provide much  needed support. -Stephanee Potts

#4- “Get Up and Walk…”

August 7th, 2024

Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” -John 5:8

Good morning! Praise God we have much better news this morning! Twenty four hours ago I was gently informed by one of the head doctors on Eric’s medical team that he and the others did not see a way for Eric to recover enough to be able to leave the hospital. When I asked what percentage of a chance he thought Eric had, he said, “0% chance. Maybe up to 5% since Eric is young and seems to be a fighter.”

That conversation has shifted today. When I called the elders from our church and invited others (several friends came) to come pray and be with us yesterday, Eric perked up. Since then, Eric is communicating well on his whiteboard, clearheaded, improving oxygen levels, color is back, asking for food and drink (which he hasn’t desired or been able to tolerate the past 18 days), asking for movement and setting goals! This morning, some of the first words I woke up to were, “pretty soon you may be able to get up and walk”!

I would often wake up to Eric playing worship music in the morning before the doctors would make their rounds and find him like this. He did not know when I took this picture. I’m so thankful I did. This is our Eric, always praising God and showing others how to walk with God even when it isn’t physically possible to get up and walk.

Keep the prayers coming! Eric is defying all the odds! He’s enjoying all the extra attention and worshiping through it all! God’s got this! 🙌🏽

Continue in prayer that Eric will “get up and walk”!

#5-Rest

August 8th, 2024

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28

The past two days have been a testimony to the power of prayer and faith that our God truly hears us, sees us, and is our ever-present help. Thank you to all our friends and family who have traveled in person to pray over Eric in the ICU. We truly believe Eric hearing and seeing the prayers of the saints on his behalf shifted the atmosphere on Tuesday and altered the story that he has been living out since. This morning, the two lead physicians who had not previously declared hope of discharge from this hospital, came in and said, “We just can’t believe it! You are like a whole new person than the guy we saw Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning!”

Thank you to all our friends and family praying from your homes and churches and far corners of the world. Eric is continuing to live in the miracle of life because of the One Who gives life and life abundant. Last night, Eric got to read and see many of your notes and videos telling and showing him how many are praying and how God is using this story to impact his Kingdom. He literally breathed in your words of encouragement and shortly after he was able to come off oxygen support completely for a few hours!

 

Cousins flew to come be with us and when they asked Eric if there was anything they could do for him, he wrote on his white board asking for a foot massage.

The heavy, healing labor of the past few days has left both Eric and I in great need of physical rest. Eric made significant progress in a positive direction last night, but that progress did not come with physical rest. So, we need to pause visitors coming today and trust God’s promise that He will give us this needed rest today. For today, please pray for rest, because we know with rest comes healing.

In His Rest,

Elisabeth

#6- “Aba”

August 10th, 2024

“For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

All your children shall be taught by the Lord,  and great shall be the peace of your children.” -Isaiah 54:10,13

Many have asked, “How are the kids doing with all this?”

Our four kids are now all adults with their own busy lives. Last night when my brother Jon asked me this question, I asked him to think back to when we were ages 18-25 and how we probably would have responded if we were in this situation with one of our parents. We would be very concerned, maybe confused, anxious, hurting, visit as much as we could, help around the house and with pets as much as we could, and also continue with our normal schedules as much as possible. This is what our adult children are doing. Esmée and Evan live with us at home so are holding down the home front and taking care of pets. Elita and Ethan live close by. We are so thankful they are all near for such a time as this.

I asked the kids to come on Tuesday before Eric turned a positive corner and they all scrambled to adjust their schedules and get to the hospital. By the time they arrived, Eric was doing so much better. We had a sweet time as a family with Dad (Eric) joking around as usual and making them solve riddles on his whiteboard. After hours stuffed in one small ICU room, the “kids” were getting pretty hungry at 9pm. I had not yet left the 4th floor of the ICU and wasn’t ready for my kids to leave (as parents of adults kids can attest, it’s normally hard to get them all together on a good day), so I decided I should venture out with them to find dinner while Eric’s parents stayed behind with him. How badly, we wanted Eric to be able to go to dinner with us as a family!

About a year ago, I went with Eric for a follow up/therapy appointment in this Austin area where most of his doctors are. We tried to go on a date after the appointment and found a beautiful Mediterranean restaurant we really wanted to try. But alas, we did not have a reservation and the wait time was impossibly long.

When the kids and I got to the hospital parking lot, I asked Siri on my phone to “find food near me.” The same Mediterranean restaurant Eric and I had once tried to go to popped up on the short list. They were open till 10pm so I called and secured a reservation for five. We were not exactly outfitted  for an upscale, bougie restaurant, but we didn’t care. I told the kids that many friends had blessed us with meal money the past few weeks and that I had not yet had a chance to use any of it, so this was our big chance and to order whatever they wanted! Eric had fist bumped Ethan on his way out saying, “Eat something good for me too!” So we did! We enjoyed our time together and felt Eric was with us as the name of the restaurant we chose is called, “Aba”—“Father” in Hebrew.

We know our kids earthy Aba is in the hands of our Heavenly Aba.

Eric’s aspiration pneumonia is healing well. But the closing of his airway due to the tumor is still a heavy conversation that comes with no solution, medically speaking. We have had many seemingly impossible conversations with Eric’s medical team and palliative care the past two days. They are truly doing everything in their power to care for us well and we are so thankful. We are inevitably stuck in the ICU as it is the only place capable of assisting Eric’s fluctuating high level oxygen needs. We are all well aware that Eric’s future is in the hands of the Great Physician. Whatever Gcd chooses to do is good. Whatever the future holds, we trust it is best. We may not understand God’s “best” for us or feel it is “good” sometimes, but we easily recall how He has always been faithful to us in steadfast love. He won’t stop now.

We will be okay and our children will be okay. Our dearest family and friends will be okay. There is great peace in knowing our Heavenly Aba loved us so much he sent the Prince of Peace (Jesus) to dwell among us and suffer for us and with us. Jesus prayer was, “Aba, may your will be done. I accept Your will,” while still asking if there was a way of lesser suffering that would enable him to not be separated from his Aba. This is our prayer too.

Our children know their Aba’s situation is very serious. But it’s still a very hard situation to comprehend. Please pray with us that God will allow their peace to be great during this extremely difficult time. Our hearts are greatly encouraged through each of your prayers and support. Eric and I are praying Our Aba Father will bring you great peace too.

We love you,

Elisabeth

#7-The Air I Breathe

August 16th, 2024

Several years ago, our family began to experience severe mental and physical attacks that went through each of our four children finally trying to take down our strong leader, Eric. The enemy of our souls knows our weaknesses and launches scheming attacks accordingly. After a few years of praying for the attacks to subside long enough to come up for air, I began to face each trial from a different survival perspective. I surrendered my “why us?” and defeating pleas to catch a break, and instead asked the Lord, “How do you want me to walk through this with You?” The answer was, “Allow me to be the air that you breathe.” I had been gasping for air in my own strength, even though God was still very near to me.

Our Creator breathed into humanity the breath of life (Genesis 2:7). We unconsciously say name of God “Yahweh” each time we inhale and exhale. Each breath is dependent on the kind sovereignty of the One Who created us. We are often given “more than we can handle” (not the other way around) because God’s grace is sufficient to handle whatever it is. His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Looking back, I see how God has so faithfully walked with me in all our battles strengthening my heart for whatever may come. There is no other explanation for the daily grace strength I have been receiving thus far. We are now on day twelve on the ICU.

When asked what God was currently teaching him through the current battle, Eric wrote on his whiteboard, “My pursuit of him not to wait until I leave here. It is/He is always my pursuit.”Wherever we are, whatever circumstances we bear, the pursuit, the solution, is the One Who is the air we breathe.

God is breathing life into Eric. He is getting stronger! For ten days, we were stuck in ICU on high flow oxygen that only the ICU can provide. The past two days, Eric was monitored closely on a much lower dose of oxygen with a regular nasal cannula. They had tried this before but he was not able to tolerate lower levels for more than a few hours. Yesterday, he passed the twenty-four hour point and graduated to an intermediate level of the ICU. When the doctors make their rounds each morning, they are continually amazed. What a privilege to be able to give all glory to our amazing God!

Even though Eric is recovering well from aspiration pneumonia and beginning to regain physical strength, the giant tumor blocking Eric’s airway is the still the elephant in the room during all medical/recovery/moving forward conversations. “It is only because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed.” We are choosing to thank God for His mercies that are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-24), trust His faithfulness and make His glory our only pursuit.

July 24th, the day Eric got the chemo that landed him in ICU, I was at a laryngologist specialist appointment for our youngest son Evan that had been scheduled since March. It was discovered at that appointment that Evan—who has a very rare mitochondria disease—is “having significant issues with his airway” due to muscle weakness caused by insufficient mitochondria (cellular energy) levels. The amount of times I had already heard the words “airway”, “trachea” and “aspiration” that week and since doubled. Evan has had two other difficult news doctor appointments and two sessions of therapy in the past two weeks while Eric has been in the ICU with airway issues for completely different reasons. It is easy to ask, “Why/How can this be happening right now?” But Evan didn’t. He is a fighter like his Dad and sees the goodness of God in everything. Thank you for praying victory over the “incurable” airway issues my sweet guys are battling. Please pray we will all keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, that our pursuit of Him will never dwindle, and always remember that this is the air we breathe.

This is the air I breathe

Your holy presence

Living in me

This is my daily bread

Your very word

Spoken to me

And I… I’m desparate for you

And I… I’m lost without you

This is air I breathe

-song by Joe Mettle

Taking deep breaths with Jesus,

Elisabeth

#8-Trust

August 25th, 2024

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

And whose hope is the Lord.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,

Which spreads out its roots by the river,

And will not fear when heat comes;

But its leaf will be green,

And will not be anxious in the year of drought,

Nor will cease from yielding fruit.”

-Jeremiah 17:7-8

Each day is another chance to trust and praise God! The Lord answered many prayers last week. Eric’s breathing was much more stable and as he continued to improve, he was transferred out of ICU to a tiny room on the oncology floor the nurses call the “force out.”  I have been making calls and researching the best inpatient rehabilitation facilities all week as Eric was not yet strong enough to go home but was no longer receiving a level of care that would allow him to continue to improve in the hospital. I’m thankful to have found two good rehab facilities to choose from that are closer to home where Eric can go for two weeks to get stronger before coming home with home health supports. That was the former plan in motion for early this week but as of last night that plan is now on hold.

We are currently back on the 4th floor ICU. We are on yet another side which makes us feel like God is circling us around this particular zone for purposes we cannot fully see or understand. Coco, Eric’s previous ICU nurse from Japan, came to see him last night and explained his case to the others even though she wasn’t Eric’s assigned nurse. Our 7th floor Filipino nurse Majorie pushed hard for two days to get Eric the test/scans/doppler (the weekend doctors were hesitant to order as they would really like to close this case) to figure out why Eric seemed to be declining more than improving the past few days when all his labs came back normal. A chest x-ray found some more infection in Eric’s lungs so they started him on another round of IV antibiotics to try and clear that up. Doctors told us we could still leave the hospital on these antibiotics and the lower level of oxygen Eric had sustained for over a week. So we continued with plans to move to a rehab facility in the near future.

Getting enough nutrition/hydration to keep improving has been a major concern. Eric has wanted to keep trying to eat and drink orally but has not managed to overcome the weeks of malnourishment he experienced prior to coming to this hospital or since. Just forcing morsels when he needs twice as much as he normally would eat in a healthy state has been a battle. His malnourished state is one probable cause for Eric’s elevated resting heart rate that has been the main struggle and impediment to physical progress the past week. IV hydration was started back up on Friday and the feeding tube discussion was back on the table along with the need for a port. It has been terribly difficult for anyone to find a workable vein to draw blood or administer hydration and antibiotics. Friday afternoon, an ultrasound was used to try and do a PICC line (a peripherally inserted central catheter which is a long, thin, flexible tube that’s inserted into a vein in the upper arm and threaded into a larger vein above the right side of the heart) and a TPN (total parenteral nutrition is a method of delivering nutrition directly into a vein). However, too much “echogenic material” made this effort impossible. Eric was then sent for a chest CT with contrast and Doppler ultrasound. Multiple blood clots were discovered in Eric’s arms. We were informed late last night that Eric also has two pulmonary embolisms on his lung and this is probably what started his oxygen level decline more than the infection. We have been sure to follow all the protocols to prevent blood clots this entire hospitalization. They have just put Eric on higher doses now. It is the combination of all these things has landed us back in the ICU. Eric is currently back on high flow oxygen to give his body a break. He has been fighting so very hard and it’s nice to see him breathe a bit easier in order to rest with the extra help the high flow can provide. He doesn’t plan to stay on it though, so stay tuned as we continue to fight and praise God in this storm.

We really miss being with our church family in person but are thankful to be able to watch and listen from wherever we are. Whenever he was not physically serving at a church, Eric would always have multiple screens tuning in to our pastor friends in other states and around the world. He prayed for each and every one of you, to preach with boldness and for our Lord to encourage your hearts as you encourage the Body of Christ with His Word. Always trust that God is working in and through you to bear much fruit.

A praise and answered prayer is that I was able to go back to work last Monday-Friday and be present teaching the first week of school which always sets the tone for the rest of the year. God was/is so good to allow this grace to me. My students, co-teachers and I had a very blessed week! One of the sweetest things was our school wide chapel service on Wednesday morning. The entire staff and student body prayed over Eric and two others in our school family fighting extremely tough medical diagnoses. Eric and I are so joyfully overwhelmed by the outpouring of prayers for Eric’s healing and our family as we walk in trust.

Our daughter Esmée is also working at the school this year. This was leaving for our first day at school. Hill Country Christian School has been such a ministry of healing to our hearts in this season. How wonderful to partner with others who trust the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. My prayer is the staff, students and their families will see us walking in complete trust and trust Him too.
Our Evan is a Senior this year! We are so thankful for how Evan trusts the Lord!

Teaching Junior High is one of my local mission fields along with Haiti and Africa which I’m currently serving remotely while praying to be able to return in the future. I had prayed and prayed about whether or not I needed to step away from these ministry jobs last week but God permitted Eric to stay stable until I finished out the work week. I am so very thankful! Terry and Mona (Eric’s parents) and our kids Elita and Ethan took turns on night shifts this week. I will now need to stay at the hospital to advocate for Eric until we get over the current hurdle.

The head pulmonologist has agreed that the risk of not doing the procedure to put in a port and stomach feeding tube is greater than going through with it. The anesthesiologist is anxious about the risk of undergoing these surgical procedures under Eric’s current oxygen constraints. We are not yet sure when this will be scheduled but it needs to be very soon. Please pray for the timing of “soon” in this and the best team of doctors for Eric.

We will not fear nor be anxious. We will continue to trust in the Lord Who is our Hope! Thank you for faithfully trusting with us! Keep bearing fruit wherever you are!

We love you all dearly!

Elisabeth

#9-Marvel

September 5th, 2024

Today marks one month living at the hospital (August 5th-September 5th). Procedures to place a chest port and peg tube (stomach feeding tube) were successful last week and Eric was miraculously able to breathe on his own during the entire surgery. Not even plan A (of the meticulously discussed plans A, B and C) was needed! Recovery has felt slow but moving in the right direction. Eric will receive another CT scan today to determine some painful throat issues and we will hopefully be able to see what is happening with the tumor as well. His neck area where his previous tracheostomy site opened up with infection is now healed. Praise! Eric can talk again!

This is where the large tumor is located. This has been open since March 2024 causing Eric many painful issues. The hole is from a previous tracheotomy site that helped him breathe during  his successful oral cancer surgery in January 2023. It was at the time of that surgery that cancer cells being removed from Eric’s tongue, were accidentally implanted into the tracheotomy site. We did not know this happened until we were informed by a top surgeon at MD Anderson in July 2024 after explaining why Eric’s tumor is inoperable. Because of how the cancer entered and grew in Eric’s trachea, this is not a normal “cancer” case and no doctors know what to do. We do not marvel at what man can do for us, or to us. Only Jesus can heal this in the way He chooses. We pray that this will bring many more opportunities to proclaim what Jesus has done so that all people watching will marvel.

The biggest hurdle to getting out of the hospital has been navigating Eric’s abnormally high resting heart rate. Please pray for this to resolve. He started a new medicine this week to see if that helps. I have chosen an inpatient rehab facility where Eric can go for up to two weeks to get stronger in between the hospital and coming home. We are asking for prayers that he will be strong enough to transfer in the next few days! We are overwhelmed and lifted by your prayers and support the past month. There is not sufficient time for all the thank you’s my heart longs to share! -Elisabeth

The following was written by Eric on his one month hospital anniversary.

“And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled.” Mark 5:20

I continue to marvel at what Jesus does in the lives of people. The maniac from Gadera, chained, naked and possessed, but now clothed and sitting in his right mind gives opportunity for people to marvel at the work of Jesus. Jesus asks the now freed man to go and share his story with the surrounding cities. The Bible says he shares this incredible story of a life intersecting with Jesus and being forever changed. The Bible says people MARVELED!

We continue to marvel at the lives that are touched by God’s Word. Friends and family sending Bible verses to encourage us that we put on the hospital wall and God uses it to encourage even more. Thank you all for your prayers, letters, cards, generosity, visits – I MARVEL at the work God is doing in and through you. Let’s Marvel together at God’s work.

And continue to pray for an even lower resting heart rate, a stronger body, an eliminated tumor, an open door to transfer to physical therapy rehab, and more open doors for the gospel.

Everyone marveled,

Eric

#10-Marvel Part II 

September 7th, 2024

Here I am – not in a hospital for the next hour-Let’s go to PT rehab!

First time with regular clothes for over a month.

Clothed ✅

In my right mind ❓Questionable? 🤪

Free to share the gospel at a new place? Definitely! 👍

Let’s keep marveling! -Eric

#11-Strength

September 16th, 2024

Isaiah 40:28-31

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Eric is daily gaining strength! He is working hard in Physical Therapy hours each day and is learning to manage administering his own medication and tube feeds. Due to swallow and aspiration issues, Eric has been put on a liquid diet and will need to continue with tube feedings once home for sufficient nutrition. We are thankful his oxygen levels, ability to have movement and communication have remained stable. His resting heart rate remains a prayer request as it still needs to drop at least twenty beats per minute. Eric has been in a significant amount of pain the past two weeks. We received discouraging news from a recent scan that the tumor is attempting to grow back into the space it had vacated. This may be the cause of the pain and also the swallow issues.

Eric is working toward the goal of coming home by the end of this week! I (with the help of dear friends and family) have been prepping the house to receive the medical equipment and Home Health services Eric will need once home. We are overwhelmed with thankfulness for the mercy and miracle that Eric is getting to come home! Our hope is in the LORD for renewed strength daily as we continue to fight this aggressive cancer with God’s help. There is still nothing earthly physicians can do to “fix” the tumor. The battle is the Lord’s. God is strengthening Eric to continue to be able to fight. We are honestly weary in the fight and trusting the One Who does not grow weary to renew our strength for the next steps. Thank you for praying over us and supporting us in this journey. Please don’t stop praying and holding up our arms in this battle! May our hearts always trust in the Lord’s strength in all our battles.

We love you,

Elisabeth

Blessed be the Lord! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28:6-7

#12-Counting the Miracles

September 21st, 2024

I’ve got miracles on miracles

A million little miracles

Miracles on miracles

Count your miracles

One, two, three, four, I can’t even count ’em all

You held me steady so I wouldn’t give up

You opened doors that nobody could shut

I hope I never get over what You’ve done

I wanna live with an open heart

I wanna live like I know who You are

I hope I never get over what You’ve done

It’s not coincidence and it’s not luck

I know it comes from above

I’ve got miracles on miracles

A million little miracles

Miracles on miracles

Count your miracles

Excerpt from the Song “Million Little Miracles” by Elevation Worship and Maverick City Music

It’s truly a miracle (and not a little one) that Eric is HOME!

“Let us rejoice today and be glad!” Psalm 128:24

Our dear friends, the staff and elders at Fellowship Church have walked with us so sweetly through the past few months and have gone above and beyond in more ways than can be counted. We will never forget the way they have stayed with us through the hardest times and have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus in each miracle.

I am still counting the miracles of so many answered prayers throughout Eric’s journey to his forever home–where there is no more sickness and suffering. He is now home with his beloved Savior. And because of this, our mourning is turned to joy even in our missing. May these “memorial stones” always serve as a reminder of God’s goodness to us in the journey.

-Elisabeth

Until You Had Crossed…

Once upon a time…

Memorial Stones

Twelve years ago, half way through our twenty four years of marriage, I wrote this blog, “Memorial Stones”,  to remember God’s faithfulness at that time in our lives and so that we would never forget. Meditating on God’s faithfulness, and abiding in His goodness through life’s hardest times is the strength that steadies me, comforts me, allows me to surrender completely, trust confidently, and enlarges my faith–the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not yet seen (Hebrews 11:1). This is only possible in and through God’s strength, not my own. As I was struggling to figure out which of the updates to keep a record of here from Eric’s hospitalization (August 5th) to heavenly homegoing (September 28th), I counted that there were twelve not yet recorded here. Instantly, God brought the passage of the twelve memorial stones from Joshua 4:20-24 to my mind. “When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, ‘What are these stones?’ then you shall inform your children, saying, ‘Israel crossed this Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed, just as the Lord your God has done to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed; that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

I then recalled when God had comforted me through this passage during one of our hardest years in Haiti. This is what I mean when I quote our Haiti mentors who always reminded me, “You know, God sees ahead.” Twelve years ago I shared,

“We will remember that there are lives all around us in need of hope, in need of rescue. We never know when the last day of our life will be, so let’s remember to give our best each day.”

Twelve years later…

Eric remembered this as he aimed to lived out 2 Corinthians 5:9. He gave his best for the Lord each day until he crossed over to glory. So I will share all twelve of the last “memorial stones” that God put on our hearts to share in his last days. May the lives we live (whether here or away with the Lord) continue to share God’s faithfulness and impact this world that is still in need of hope and rescue–“that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever.” (Joshua 4:24)

 

The Hardest Thing

For those who haven’t yet heard  or read, please click on the photo for the link.

The  past eight weeks without Eric have been a flurry of emotions with the family, a whirlwind of many necessary and mostly painful to-do’s, navigating next steps, travel for Africa and Haiti mission work,  continuing to teach my Junior High girls at school, and a short getaway trip to process and just be by the ocean with a dear friend. It’s been good to stay busy, take deep breaths when it all feels overwhelming and just do the next thing. God is with me in it all, so gently leading and guiding me forward. I plan to share in the near future how God is leading me and the ministries onward. But for now, I need to backtrack a little before addressing the future.

I haven’t yet found time or capacity to connect with everyone my heart longs to and send personal thank you’s to each of you who have ministered to our family over the past months in so many ways. I pray for the opportunity to do so as soon as possible. I realize that most of the updates I have written either only posted to the GiveSendGo page or Facebook. In hindsight, I wish I had copied the updates to this ministry page, and also reached out to more people by phone as I’m learning there are many who never saw the online updates. I plan to copy and paste some of the most meaningful past updates here  so they are not lost when the GiveSendGo site is taken down.  Whether it is just for me or someone else, I never want to forget God’s goodness and faithfulness in this hard journey.

While I know I could not have managed more than I did/am, and what I have been able to accomplish has only been in and through God’s strength, my heart has remained burdened that there are people very dear to Eric and I who  did not know about Eric’s cancer journey, and/or his passing.  Some have asked me throughout this journey, “What has been the hardest thing for you?” For me, “the hardest thing” has been when I get a call from a friend wanting to catch up,, or running into someone in a store or appointment who had no idea either about Eric’s sickness or that he is no longer with us. My heart is never quite prepared for these moments and facing them has been the hardest thing. It’s much easier to embrace the grieving process with others when you do not have to explain the source of the grief time and again. Watching or listening to the response of these loved ones shocked by the news of the past year, has been really heavy for me—and I’m sure for them. Although I know there is much grace for this, I  need to say, “ I’m truly so very sorry” to our friends, family and ministry partners who perhaps didn’t know about the severity of Eric’s health journey and graduation to glory.. If I could go back and change this part, I would. I sometimes wrongly assumed (or just hoped), Eric had already told you, when he had not. We were fighting battles that were  so very hard. I’m now experiencing the casualties of war while Eric gets to experience the joys of heaven. I am thankful Eric is no longer suffering this battle, but if there’s one thing I’m mad at him about, it’s that he has always left me behind to handle the hardest parts of our lives together. The truth is, as was mentioned by one of his Pastor/mentors during the celebration of life service, “Eric was a deflector.“ He didn’t like to talk about the battles he was personally facing. And if he could avoid sitting with his own hard realities, he would (preferring to ask about your hard things and sitting with you instead). Even the first time (January 2023),  when Eric was in the ICU for a week, his weekly prayer and pickleball buddies messaged his phone (which I had since Eric was unable to answer) asking why he wasn’t on the court that week. His surgery had been scheduled for weeks. Did he even tell his local buddies about it? Nope. So please don’t think I’m only referring to friends, family and ministry partners who have loved us from afar. This “hardest thing” has also been a very near and frequent scenario for me to navigate.  I’m pretty sure I processed through the anger stage of grief a long time ago, but if there’s one thing that still brings up an angry sadness for me, it’s this injustice. Some of our dearest friends simply didn’t know. And now, whenever  I encounter them, I have to be the one to tell and once again endure the shock of this news.  This has undoubtedly been  the hardest thing. Yet, God is an ever present help, holding and carrying me. He will never leave me, nor forsake me. God is able to do this for you too.

The fast approaching holidays are now bringing new waves of grief. My heart is letting me know the holidays are going to be the next hardest thing.  So my Comforter keeps whispering,

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27

No, I don’t believe so. Because it is facing the very hardest things that make knowing and loving Jesus even sweeter. And knowing Eric is with Jesus makes sharing my hardest thing, the sweetest thing too. Because then, I get to share about Jesus, Who endured all the hardest things we can ever imagine, for me and for you. Will  you join me in trusting Him with all our hardest things?

Mission Field

“The history of missions is the history of answered prayer.”
(Samuel Zwemer)

We have experienced the answered prayers of the Body of Christ that have lifted our spirits and strengthened us greatly the past two weeks spent in the hospital intensive care unit. Eric and I are excited to share with you what God has been doing on the mission field! Being stuck in the ICU has brought  opportunities to share Christ with people from Haiti, Hawaii, Japan, Afghanistan and Nepal!

“We must be global Christians with a global vision because our God is a global God.”
(John R.W. Stott)

The very day we rushed Eric to the ER, our Haiti school sponsored students “Summer Fun Day” was in process after much planning. Haiti has been a war zone for the past few years and it is always a battle to bring joy in the midst of such suffering.
Smiling photos of the Haiti kids we personally know and love kept filling up my phone in the very moments Eric was initially fighting for his life. The clashing of our two very different and yet very same worlds was not lost on me in those moments or since.
Our Texas  Haiti came to the hospital to pray over us and celebrate our 24th  anniversary with a Fiji inspired party. Julienne prayed in the Kreyol language and manner just like we would have experienced in Haiti.
One of Eric’s mission fields has been the Pickleball courts. This Pickleball friend came to visit him and shared how Eric’s loving kindness and grace without judgement had pointed her life back to God, her husband, church, and new life in Christ. She wanted to tell us that she was being baptized the next morning.
Eric’s Pickleball community held a Pickleball tournament benefit in Eric’s honor. Several have shared with us how many lives Eric has impacted for Christ on the Pickleball courts that led to this sweet gesture of love and care for Eric and our family. We are in awe of God’s goodness to use us for His glory wherever we work, live and play!
The hospital care team sent a chaplain to visit us the second night. Her name was Elizabeth and she was pretty new on the job. When she asked to hear a little of our story and found out we are missionaries and Eric is a pastor, she got a little bit shy and told us she was intimidated. Eric shared that all she needed to share is the Truth and leave the responses/reactions to God. I asked her to share her story and we had such a sweet time of fellowship. She prayed over us and we prayed over her and the ministry God has given her to this hospital. She told us with joyful tears she would never forget us and that we were sending her off with the courage to boldly declare Truth. This was the first of many similar conversations and precious ICU prayer times since. We have some serious prayer warriors!
Another day, one of the housekeeping staff popped her head in and Eric just knew right away she is from Haiti. Her name is Marie and she has been in Austin for three years on humanitarian parole. At first she kept saying, “No English” until (with a big smile) she realized Eric was speaking to her in Kreyol.  Eric was blessed with Marie visits the next two days. Such sweet gift from God to have a new Haitian friend!

The halls of this ICU have been bathed in prayer. Our sweet nieces and nephews made scripture art to decorate the walls. We have moved rooms three times now and each time the nurses have to take it down and read it. One nurse taped  it all on another nurse for the transport and they walked down the halls of the ICU declaring, “Look, we are covered in scripture!” 

I’m going to be vulnerably honest here. The 4th floor of the ICU is not the floor where anyone wants to be. It is the floor where critically ill patients come to die. If I have already witnessed several deaths in the two weeks we have been here, how many can we imagine the medical staff endures on a regular basis. Morgan was one of the nurses that prayed with us. She left this note before her last night shift with us ended. Since we have been here so long, we did get to see her again. 🙂 We have had the privilege to hold hands and pray with medical staff, and share the hope of Christ with the families of those who have lost family members in the room next to us. There was a family of strong believers and our sweet conversations about the Lord took place in front of the nurses station where they were listening. While our new friends were waiting for their husband/father to peacefully pass, they wrote, “I get to meet Jesus!” on the outside of the door for everyone who passed by to see. It was a reminder that even if our prayers are not answered in the way we want, our hope is still “getting” to meet Jesus.
I woke up at 4 am to find  Eric in deep conversation with his nurse from Japan. I couldn’t hear them from across the room so a few hours later I asked Eric what their conversation was about. He texted me what he had written down after Coco left the room. “Good morning Father, I’m not sure what prayers went up last night for my nurse and/or for Japan, but God you are on the move & working. I’m so humbled for the privilege to talk about Jesus. Thanks for the open door.
Coco (my nurse from Japan) was just very open about belief & having never been to a church or ever confronted with the thought or opportunity to consider who Jesus is. She says, I need to think about him & who he is. She has been in the USA for over 18 years & has never had a spiritual conversation God gave us. Little mustard seed plant 🙌 Lord, allow this seed to take root & go generations deep into this family line. In Jesus name!”
Alex’s heart grew for missions when he traveled to Honduras with Eric in March. What a blessing to hear how God is growing the ministry through Alex, his family and church family!
Evan and his friends came to visit and pray over Eric. Only two months ago, Eric was serving with these young men on a mission trip in the Dominican Republic. May each of these experiences enlarge their faith and ours.
We go way back with these "kids." Ben, Kelli, Miguel and Peter were among our close knit group of our youth group seniors the year we moved to Haiti. They all came to serve with us in Haiti two different times. Miguel lived and served with us in Haiti for nearly a year. Miguel and I still suffer chronic joint pain from a mosquito born illness the two of us contracted in 2015. It was so fun to spend time sharing so many memories of what God has done in each of our lives and will continue to do.
We go way back with these “kids.” Ben, Kelli, Miguel and Peter were among our close knit group of our youth group seniors the year we moved to Haiti. They all came to serve with us in Haiti two different times. Miguel lived and served with us in Haiti for nearly a year. Miguel and I still suffer chronic joint pain from a mosquito born illness the two of us contracted in 2015. Miguel’s sweet spirit through sickness and the uneasy daily Haiti life was (and still is) a gift from God to our family. It was so fun to spend time sharing so many memories of what God has done in each of our lives over the years and looking forward to what He will do next.
So many dear, old and new friends have come to sit with us in this sad and beautiful time.
The first morning in the ICU I was told Eric had a 0% chance of leaving the hospital. He had not been able to communicate well for a few days prior due to low oxygen levels and being deathly ill with aspiration pneumonia. I lay on Eric’s bed and cried out to God that He would allow Eric to wake up with clarity of mind and connection to be with our family and friends. God answered my prayer in a miraculous way that day. As soon as the first visitors (the elders and staff from our church) arrived, Eric perked up and has been able to communicate and connect since that day!
There have been periods where Eric is unable to talk the past few weeks. Some days are better than others and he is able to talk a little. One day, friends were visiting at a time when Eric was unable to talk. Our friend Tanya wrote the note to Eric on his whiteboard, “Share the gospel without words.” Eric, being funny, replied, “that goes without saying.” Their conversation stems from the quote, ““Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.” In other words, “Actions speak louder than words.”

Being confined to a hospital bed the past two weeks and the two weeks prior at home has not been easy. It is tempting to let frustration and anxiety have their turn. But these are not the “actions” we want to “speak” if we are to reflect the Light of Christ. I think of Paul and Silas singing in prison (Acts 16) that not only lifted the spirits of the other prisoners but culminated with the jailer and his whole family coming to Christ.

The life of Amy Carmichael, missionary to India, has always been an inspiration and encouragement even though and especially because she spent the last twenty years of her life bedridden with debilitating pain. While serving in India, Carmichael received a letter from a young lady who was considering life as a missionary, asking, “What is missionary life like?” Carmichael wrote back, “Missionary life is simply a chance to die.” Amy’s response to hardship was to say, “If we’re revived by grace and filled with the Holy Spirit, we’re capable of bearing fruit in season and out of season, in fertile ground and in the desert, when life is easy and when it’s not.”

The mission field is wherever we are. The circumstance does not shift the capability of the Holy Spirit. It is in the most difficult times that we are nearer to Him more intensely than ever before.

“The spirit of Christ is the spirit of missions. The nearer we get to him, the more intensely missionary we become.”
(Henry Martyn)

Christ Our Hope

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you for lifting us in prayer the past few weeks. Shortly after sharing the last post about Eric’s surgery on June 24th–that we had greatly hoped would aid in his full recovery–the surgeons came to inform us that they could not continue with the second part of the surgery to try and clear the infection in Eric’s trachea because they had discovered a large, cancerous tumor in that area. This news was shocking to everyone. They had previously thought this spot on the CT scan was either a pocket of infection (Eric had been suffering for months from infections of H-Flu, MRSA, and hospital acquired bacterial pneumonia) or granulation tissue that had grown due to scarring after the previous surgery. They never suspected the spot could be a cancerous tumor because this type of cancer (squamous cell carcinoma) neither originates nor spreads to the trachea/windpipe. Austin’s top surgeons said they have never seen this before. It is apparently very, very rare for this to happen. Eric was heartbroken when he woke up from anesthesia and heard the news.

We spent that night at the hospital and Eric’s team of doctors told us they had made all the necessary calls to get Eric referred to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. The San Antonio location which is closer to us does not treat this type of cancer. Eric’s throat was very sore for about a week after surgery but since the surgeon was able to remove the upper granulation tissue in this throat, his airway opened up a little and breathing improved some. We were thankful for this small reprieve.

Eric was scheduled to preach for three services at our church on June 30th and had prepared for this before going into the hospital. It was one of the reasons we had pushed for the surgery to happen early in the week so that he would have as much recovery time as possible before the next Sunday.  Eric was graciously given the option to pass this off to someone else, but we felt strongly that this was important for Eric to do. Our church, Fellowship Church of Plum Creek, where Eric is on staff part time as the Mission’s Pastor, has been going through a summer series on the pastoral staff’s favorite scripture passages while Lead Pastor Chris is on sabbatical. It was Eric’s turn to share his favorite from Acts 1 with a focus on Jesus last words in Acts 1:7-8.

He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

These  have  always been Eric’s favorite verses to live out and share. Yet, preaching a sermon titled “Last Words” after just finding out you have cancer…again…was a heavy task. We do not believe it is a coincidence that this happened. Eric preached the message with a sore throat, pain in his head and neck along with several unusual technical difficulties that also felt like forces trying so, so hard to steal his voice. Our oldest son who hasn’t been to church in years came that Sunday to hear his Dad. He also brought two friends. That really meant a lot to us along with all of the people who have taken the time to reach out with kindness and pray over us.

Waiting for the first of many meetings with doctors at MD Anderson.

Our first meetings with Eric’s new team of cancer doctors at MDA were on July 11th, and 12th, in Houston.  First, we met with the surgical team who explained that the tumor is inoperable due to its size and location in the windpipe. The tumor is currently covering 80% of Eric’s airway. This is the reason he has been struggling to breathe all these months. There is 20% airway left and we do not exactly know how fast the tumor is growing.

The red circle is where the tumor is and the doctor’s white pointer arrow next to the bottom of the circle shows the airway space that is left.

There is nothing to do to help Eric be able to breathe with the tumor there because the tumor is in the middle of his airway where they would normally be able to do a tracheotomy. We were told by the surgeon at MDA that because squamous cell carcinoma in the trachea/windpipe is so uncommon and they have not had these cases, they really are not sure how this cancer or Eric’s body will respond to treatment. We were also told the reason Eric has this ‘very uncommon” cancer in his trachea. It did not originate nor spread. It was implanted there. Somehow, squamous cell carcinoma cells that were previously present on Eric’s tongue before they were successfully removed on January 25th, 2023, were surgically transplanted into his trachea by accident during one of his previous surgeries which involved multiple medical teams. This was very difficult news that we were hearing for the first time. Eric has been the model patient. It was rare for him to get this kind of cancer on his tongue in the first place as he has never smoked anything nor drank alcohol. He bounced back quickly after extensive surgeries and was in great shape physically. He worked so hard on speech therapy during the months that followed. Then, about eight months after being healthy and declared “cancer free”, Eric began to have strange symptoms that quickly turned into chronic pain in his head and neck. All the many doctors Eric went to would offer various suggestions and treatments, none of which helped. We were told over and over this is just a “tricky case.” Because no one in the medical field thought cancer could be there, they didn’t bother to check and actually told us all the things it could be but that, “it couldn’t be cancer.” So the transplanted cancerous tumor has (in the past eight months) been poked with a steroid shot, cauterized two times, cultured  and scraped during scopes and surgery–all surely helping the cancer to grow. We heard several times from multiple, kind doctors at MDA, ‘I’m so very sorry. This should not have happened to you.”

However, the medical team at MDA was very elated that Eric has not previously had chemo or radiation as at least there is now that option to try. It felt very strange to hear that the “good news” is rounds of chemo and radiation. The current thought for treatment recommendation is nine weeks of two chemo drugs along with immunotherapy that will be administered once every three weeks. This is to try and shrink the tumor as it cannot receive radiation in its current state. Then, six or possibly seven weeks of radiation (also probably alongside more chemo). The radiation treatments are five days per week and we were told arrangements would have to be made for Eric to live near the hospital the duration of that time. This is all the medical hope we are left with and even if Eric goes through all that, there isn’t any amazing guarantee.

The drive home from Houston was weary and depressing. This certainly wasn’t the news we hoped to share. We prayed and processed the next day and talked to some friends who have walked through similar situations. We needed to ask the hard questions like, “If you knew before what you know now, would you still choose the same way?” We were encouraged not to feel pressured by time or doctors to start anything immediately but to take a few days to sit with this and pray. We so appreciate everyone who has reached out to us and those who care enough to dare to send us information on alternative cancer treatments. We have done our best to read and research each one. Since learning about his tumor, Eric has been trying several (non-main stream) things that have been proven to fight cancer in some people (not all.) We are praying that his body will respond well. But we also know this typically takes time, and time is an extremely critical factor due to the closing of Eric’s airway. He can choose to continue with his current non-mainstream protocol in conjunction with starting chemotherapy. Right now, (unless there is significant improvement or a sudden miracle), the plan is to start the first round of chemo next week.

Cancer (or any illness or unexpected tragedy or life interruption) is never convenient. Eric is  supposed to be leading two separate groups to Romania and Tanzania in the next couple weeks. He still has this hope inside him that he will be able to go. Please pray in faith with us for this. We know the “significant improvement or sudden miracle” needs to happen for him to be able to travel. We know if/when Eric starts chemo, his immune system will be utterly compromised and making trips overseas (even if he feels a little better toward the end of the first chemo cycle) is highly ill advised.

Elisabeth recently started a new job at Handspun Hope (a nonprofit ministry in Rwanda) this summer (in addition to teaching during the school year and working remotely with our Haiti ministries) right around the time we got the new cancer news, but before we had all the details. Trying to balance everything has been complicated to say the least. We apologize to all those we have not yet answered or have not answered quickly. We see your messages come in and simply cannot respond a good deal of the time while at work or in appointments that seem never ending. But we feel loved and prayed over and cannot thank you enough for checking on us!

Our son Evan, who also has a rare medical condition, is at youth camp this week, but has two important doctor appointments over the next two weeks. Our oldest son is moving next week and we want to be able to help him. The girls are living at home and close to home and are typically able to help around the house. There is so, so much to do and we are not at all sure how it is going to get accomplished. Eric struggles physically to be able to do much and he hasn’t been able to sleep more than a couple hours per night  since last November. People ask how they can help but most of our big to-do’s are things only we can do (like our jobs, and medical appointments and trying to organize it all.) But then our neighbor shows up to mow our lawn, a friend brings coffee and drops off supplements for Eric at the office, and we get another card in mail or text with a prayer. So, we praise God, Who is our Help, as he sends dear ones to help us in unexpected ways throughout each day. We are constantly reminded we are not alone in this. There is always hope! We can have peace in this process. Our hope is not in “trusting the process”, but in the keeper of our souls. Doctors make mistakes and processes often fail. In Christ alone, our hope is found. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, our Light, our Strength, our Song.

We sang this song on Sunday that echoes our heart’s cry. May God be glorified in our “times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority” as we trust the One Who holds every detail of our days within His hand. Oh, sing hallelujah! Our hope springs eternal! Now and ever we confess, Christ our hope in life and death. God is good. God is good.

Christ Our Hope In Life And Death

Song by Keith & Kristyn Getty and Matt Papa

What is our hope in life and death?
Christ alone, Christ alone
What is our only confidence?
That our souls to Him belong
Who holds our days within His hand?
What comes, apart from His command
And what will keep us to the end?
The love of Christ in which we stand
Oh, sing hallelujah
Our hope springs eternal
Oh, sing hallelujah
Now and ever we confess
Christ, our hope in life and death
What truth can calm the troubled soul?
God is good, God is good
Where is His grace and goodness known?
In our great Redeemer’s blood
Who holds our faith when fears arise?
Who stands above the stormy trial?
Who sends the waves that bring us nigh
Unto the shore? The rock of Christ
Oh, sing hallelujah
Our hope springs eternal
Oh, sing hallelujah
Now and ever we confess
Christ, our hope in life and death
Unto the grave, what will we sing?
“Christ, He lives, Christ, He lives!”
And what reward will Heaven bring?
Everlasting life with Him
There we will rise to meet the Lord
Then sin and death will be destroyed
And we will feast in endless joy
When Christ is ours forevermore (forevermore)
Oh, sing hallelujah
Our hope springs eternal
Oh, sing hallelujah
Now and ever we confess
Christ, our hope in life and death (oh, sing)
Oh, sing hallelujah
Our hope springs eternal
Oh, sing hallelujah
Now and ever we confess
Christ, our hope in life and death
Now and ever we confess
Christ, our hope in life and death